Rays of Light

In loving tribute to my dear friend, Barbara “Hugs” Hammond, who crossed into eternity January 7, 2015

Everyone needs to have some “hugs” in their life. I am so grateful that Barbara was mine for so many years. 

*******************

Years ago, while I was still single, I served as an assistant manager for a rather large truck stop restaurant. One particular evening, while the place was unusually noisy and crowded, a rather weary family arrived.

One look at the parents’ faces told me that the day had already been very taxing for them and chaos was the last thing they needed. while I couldn’t do much about that at the time, I determined to ease the situation any way I could. Although it took some effort, I seated them more quickly than they had expected.

“I’ll go ahead and take your order,” I offered. “As you can see, all of our waitresses are swamped and I don’t want you to have to wait too long; you look exhausted.”

“Bless you,” the mother exhaled as she melted onto her chair. “We have been driving all day and to be honest, the whole trip has been one big nightmare! All we want to do is eat a good hot meal and then get home as quickly as possible so we can sleep in our own beds.”

After hurriedly scanning the menu, she asked her youngest son if he knew what he would like to eat. “FRIED WORMS!” he insisted. That was cute enough the first time but after the fourth time his parents were irate and very close to applying the board of education to the seat of learning right there in that dining room.

“Just bring us all a cheeseburger and fries please.”

I certainly didn’t know what it was like to deal with an obstinate child like that. But his mother’s face said it all, and I was determined to help her out just a bit. Did I mention that I was somewhat prankish when I was younger?

Returning from the kitchen a short time later, I walked over and placed a heaping plate of chewy little treats before the annoying little worm lover. His insolence quickly changed to anxiety. “Wha – what is that?”

“Fried worms,” I answered slyly. “That’s what you asked for, and we always try to make our customers happy.”

Even his parents looked a little nervous, they didn’t have a clue what I was up to but they could tell from my impish grin that they should just play along, and so they did. “You ordered those.” his father said sternly, “Now you eat them- all of them!” The boy didn’t move, though, because his body was rigid with disbelief and probably nausea at the thought of eating fried worms for real.

“Are those really worms?” his older brother asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” I answered. “And they’re pretty tasty; you should try one.”

He was a bit skeptical, though obviously a tad more daring. He slowly raised one to his mouth and ever so gingerly bit the end off of the critter. All eyes were fixed on him as a smile gradually overtook him. “Hey- these are good!” His father agreed.

Little Mr.” I want fried worms!” was not convinced, but after a bit of parental persuasion he finally braved his first bite. His eyes grew wide again, this time from surprise; he actually liked the worms very much. By this time everyone was munching on them and they polished off the whole basket-full in no time.

As the family was leaving, the boy’s mother hung back and quietly asked me what I had fed her family; she honestly didn’t have a clue. “I know they weren’t real worms,” she confessed, “but they really looked like they were.”

The stress that this woman had upon arrival had long since melted away, and she and I both shared a good laugh when I explained that her son had just tasted his first deep-fried clam strips. “Well, you sure taught him a lesson,” she said with great satisfaction. Then, with every ounce of motherly appreciation she could muster, she thanked me and left to rejoin her husband and children, who were hopefully better behaved for the remainder of their journey.

Interestingly, I was really trying to teach that little boy a lesson, yet I learned an important lesson as well. That incident helped me to realize that I was a lot like that boy. There were so many times I had wanted something so badly that I pitched a fit till I got it, only to find in the end it wasn’t really what I wanted after all. And the opposite was true also. There were times when I could not see what wonderful blessings were right there in front of me.

One such example was my friend whom I  lovingly called “Hugs.” I had only known this woman a short time before she felt inclined to give me a big ole’ bear hug. “You needed that,” she informed me. I really wanted to respond with “No, I didn’t, but you need this – SMACK!” Back then I still had a lot of emotional healing to do and I was not at all comfortable being hugged by someone I barely knew. I’ve changed a lot, though. I’m a lot more outgoing now, and hugs are just fine.

As time passed, I got to know “Hugs” better, yet  I still couldn’t help but think at first, “This woman really irritates me. Friendship, no thank you, I pass.” However, I had prejudged her just as the boy had with his fried worms. God had placed this woman in my life knowing what a blessing she would be, but I let my opinions get in the way and nearly rejected this precious gift.

Hugs and I were friends for nearly twenty years and she was always  there for me through the good times and bad. Her friendship was the real deal —one of those once-in-a-lifetime friendships— and I thank God that He knew what I needed even when I didn’t.

One of the most important things I have finally learned in life is that the decisions I make on my own are almost always the wrong ones. Without God’s help I often desire the things that are not in my best interest and fail to recognize those that are. But, when I pray and seek direction from my Heavenly Father through prayer and through Scripture, I can be confident that I am headed in the right direction and everything will work together for my good for the remainder of my journey.

God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
I John 3:20

*** Postscript: I believe there are certain things which are not to be eaten, as instructed in God’s Holy Word. Clams are one of those items. This event, however, happened nearly twenty-five years ago before I came to this understanding. I thought I would clarify this for those of you who know me personally and may have wondered what on earth I was doing feeding clams to a child. I now have much better food to feed those I encounter; the Bread of Life, but I do not in any way judge or condemn anyone who has a different understanding and eats those chewy little critters.