Whoever first said “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me” was either incredibly naïve or deliberately deceitful. I have been the victim of both physical abuse and verbal, and believe me the pain of verbal abuse is far greater and longer lasting. Physical abuse can at times cause permanent damage, but verbal abuse almost always does.
Recently, someone spewed a long list of railing accusations at me which hurt very deeply. Although what she said was untrue and unjustified, I must concede that her caustic remarks were an honest reflection of her true feelings towards me.
After two days of tears, mourning the loss of this once trusted friend, I felt the need to examine myself. Whereas this woman’s accusations were false, I did have to admit that I do sometimes come across too strong; passionate people are quite often misjudged and misunderstood.
I decided, therefore, that I must work hard to be softer and try to express myself more gently. A long time ago I came across a beautiful prayer from an anonymous seventeenth century nun. I know nothing of this woman’s life, but from her simple prayer I realized that she must have been quite a joy to be around.
It is now my plan to recite this prayer every day. I have placed a copy in my Bible and elsewhere so that it will always be before my eyes. Hopefully the prayer will become such a part of me that if we ever have occasion to meet in person, you will be able to say to yourself, “My, what a pleasant person to be around.”
Since I know nothing about most of you reading this blog, I am in no way speaking to your personalities, only mine. Nevertheless, the prayer is so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you. If it touches your heart in any way, we can both praise God for the heartfelt words of an anonymous nun.
Lord, you know better than I know myself that I am growing older and will some day be old. Keep me from getting talkative, particularly from the fatal habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but you know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind from the recital of endless details- give me wings to come to the point.
I ask for grace enough to listen to the tales of others’ pains. Seal my lips on my own aches and pains -they are increasing, and my love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. Help me to endure them with patience.
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint- some of them are so hard to live with- but a sour old woman is one of the crowning works of the devil.
Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.
*This Prayer of an Aging Woman was taken from Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations, & Quotes. Morgan, Robert J.
Thomas Nelson Publishers. Nashville, Tennessee. 2000
Rays of Light 
I can so relate to this. I too can be very passionate about things and people take it the wrong way.
I am so very sorry that this had to happen to you. It is so very painful when it does, especially when it is someone you think a lot of.
I have a friend Debbie who lives in Brasil, she too is going through some very simular issuses that you are. I think something is going to happen very soon and we are going through the fire to only make us stronger.
God is weeding out the ones in our lives that is only going to hinder us from growing to our fullest potential and from doing HIS will.
When things like this happen to me I keep reminding myself, “All things happen for a reason and God has a plan for all that is happening. He is still in control. All things are to HIS glory.” Sometimes it’s easy and other times it’s a struggle.
I am so very thankful for you and our friendship. You keep it up sista! 🙂 Because you’re doing it for HIS glory.
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