Rays of Light

On a personal note:

This time last week I was preparing to meet my Maker. Let me be honest and share something personal with you. When I went for my yearly mammogram a few weeks ago, I had that inward ‘knowing’ that it would not come back normal. It didn’t. But that was the least of my concerns.

I had been having headaches for a few weeks, but a few days after the mammogram, it turned into a constant, agonizing pain towards the middle of my head, right side. Even a pain killer would not alleviate its intensity. I wasn’t too concerned at first. But the headache got worse –and my lymph nodes swelled on the right side. I thought about seeing my physician but the weekend was fast approaching and it is difficult to be seen then. Plus, I wanted to have the second, diagnostic mammogram done before I saw him, so I waited. That proved to be an unwise decision.

Even so, I was at total peace. I wasn’t sure if the suspect mammogram had anything to do with the pain issue, but either way I knew something was seriously wrong. I’ve been through some really difficult health challenges before, but I had never experienced anything like this. I absolutely know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God heals (I have experienced His miraculous healing many times) and I usually stand in faith believing for it. This time, however, I had that same inner ‘knowing’ that I was going to go through something very difficult and there would be a purpose in it.

It occurred to me that IF I had breast cancer and IF that was related to the splitting head pain and swollen lymph nodes, it would probably mean that I would be going home to be with my Lord rather quickly. I prayed, “Lord that is entirely up to you –whatever you desire. My children are almost grown and I am ready to go home whenever you are ready for me.” It’s not that I wanted to leave my family, but I wasn’t afraid to either.

The day before my diagnostic mammogram/sonogram (Sunday), I laid on the couch making a mental note of the things I needed to wrap-up just in case. Let me stress again, I was completely at peace. Even the thought of a mastectomy didn’t bother me. And I knew that even if God called me home (and I honestly believed He might), He would certainly take care of my family. This is what comes of knowing that your relationship with Jesus Christ is right and your future with Him is secure. However, as I was thinking about all the things that I needed to hurriedly finish, the voice of the Lord spoke very clearly to me. He simply said, “Not Yet.” That’s all — just a quiet, reassuring, “Not Yet.”

Okay, so it wasn’t my time to go, yet my symptoms were getting worse. Bright and early Monday morning I called for an emergency appointment. The pain was still severe, and I had developed several more symptoms. These included, but were not limited to, blurred vision and nausea. My whole body hurt and by this point it even hurt to touch my skin.

I couldn’t even drive myself to the doctor. Normally it would have been easy to find someone to help out, but on that particular morning I couldn’t. I thought, I’ll just have to drive myself, but then I heard the Lord speak with stern rebuke, “Absolutely not! You cannot drive!” So, I called my husband away from his work to come get me. He wasn’t close to home and he was in the middle of an important job, but he was able to get me to my appointment on time. I know the Lord was looking out for me.

Long story short: I do NOT have breast cancer and the other issue I was having, while rather severe, was completely treatable. Between the potent medication and the prayer offered on my behalf, I felt like a new person within twenty-four hours of seeing my physician and continued to improve daily. It only took three or four days to feel normal again.

This is all very personal, so why am I sharing all of this with you? There are at least three thoughts I want to offer today which I truly pray brings hope and/or comfort to someone.

1) God does speak to His children. Whether He speaks to our hearts, or through His word, He will instruct us in regards to our individual lives if we take time to listen. And, in knowing that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose (Romans 8:28), we can face every challenge with absolute peace and full assurance that God is in control so we don’t have to be.

2) There is an appointed time for a person to die. —To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die… (Ecclesiastes 3:1 -2a). If it is not our time to go, we won’t. Therefore, we don’t need to worry when we face rather serious illness or disease if we put our trust in God because He IS in control.

3) Even if it is our time to pass from this world into eternity, we can face death with perfect peace, knowing that we needn’t worry or fear so long as our relationship is right with the Lord Jesus Christ. You (O Lord) will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV) –even unto death

In closing, let me say that I did go through a very difficult and painful ordeal. But true to His word, God used the situation to accomplish something important. For the sake of another’s privacy, I won’t share the details, but suffice it to say that the Lord God used my situation for that person’s benefit. I don’t believe that God puts sickness and disease on His children –He is too loving of a Father for that – but I wholeheartedly believe that He finds opportunity to prove His love through every circumstance of life. Furthermore, every trial you face is just another opportunity for you to see that love.

I have several friends, strong of faith, who are currently enduring difficult physical battles and I see in them the same peace and assurance I experienced –that peace which comes from knowing that God is in control. On the flip side, I have seen several folks who do not know Jesus as Lord, suffer through much anguish and fear through their infirmities.

Let me assure you, God cares about you and He cares about your health. It hurts His heart to see you suffering or hurting no matter who you are. If you don’t know Jesus Christ as Savior, and have never felt His peace, He is just a prayer away. Call out to Him and He will reach down to you.

Postscript: This is my second abnormal mammogram, but I was miraculously healed the first time. You can read about it here:
There’s Nothing There?