Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category


I can say with certainty that it is not a good idea to ride a pig bareback. On the other hand, it is a hysterical thing to watch if you are on the outside of the pen. I know this because I once busted a gut watching my younger sister’s efforts to conquer a big fat hog. Incidentally, those porkers can really move when they’re riled.

With lightning speed, the hog violently bucked my sister off; which would have silenced me at that very moment had she not fallen into a fresh, mucky puddle of piggy poo– that was just too riotous for constraint.

The hog, relieved to have thrown its burden, paced frantically back and forth squealing some unintelligible swine dialect, uncertain of what to do next. But when my sister stood up, the furious beast decided to charge; she barely cleared the pen before it slammed against the railing in an effort to nail her. That brought me to my senses rather abruptly.

I could just imagine the next day’s headlines: “Nine-year-old girl is killed by charging pig; thirteen-year-old killed by parents for letting it happen!”

Even though she was only bruised and shaken, I was angry that my sister had not listened to me when I forbid her to climb into that pig pen. Then again, she always was pig-headed (pun intended). She just grinned smugly and proclaimed with more than a hint of arrogance: “See, told you I could do it!”

Truthfully, I never really doubted it. That girl was always one to grab the bull by the horns- or the pig by the ears- and seize as much of life’s gusto as she could manage. Though I would never have told her so, I secretly admired my sisters’ sense of adventure and her limitless courage. (Don’t tell her I said that- I would never hear the end of it.)

I, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. Whereas my sister had been raised in such a way as to believe nothing was impossible to her, I was conditioned to believe that everything was. I had absolutely no self-confidence and was pretty much afraid of my own shadow, so I always played it safe. Being an incredibly difficult hurdle to clear, that fear has kept me from fully enjoying life for more years than I care to admit.

And I will confess that even as a person of faith, I spent way too many years being overly cautious, especially in regards to my children. It is only by the grace of God that they aren’t afraid to pursue their dreams and desires, despite my frequent nominations for the Over-Protective Parent of the Year Award. I guess they really took it to heart when their father and I taught them to believe the words of Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Being nearly grown, I’m sure none of my adventurous offspring will ever want to try riding a pig, but it goes without saying that they will undoubtedly want to do other ‘risky’ things on occasion. That may be hard for an old mother hen like me, but I have to realize that I cannot always protect my children, nor should I always try.

Even if their decisions cause them to ‘fall in piggy poo’ once in a while, I still rejoice in their adventurous spirits and their courage. And, I am very thankful that they are willing to take the bull by the horns and go for the gusto. After all, A life making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” [George Bernard Shaw]

As for me, I don’t know what the future has in store, but watching my children grow into such fearless young adults has been a great inspiration to me. I’ve even decided to dust off a few old dreams and give ‘em a whirl. After all, I too can do all things through Christ who strengths me. And so can you!

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” (Louis E. Boone)

cartoon pig

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[I hope you enjoyed this repost from 2010.  Be sure to check back soon for lots of new posts.]

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This beautiful spring weather means that love will soon be in the air. I am reminded of the times at Bible College, when the young girls would anxiously flirt with their soon-to-be boyfriends, hoping all the while to attain their “MRS degrees” — which simply meant they were looking to add the letters Mrs. to the front of their names.

I, on the other hand, was quite content to spend my time cooped-up in my dorm room in “Geritol Hall,” studying and dreaming of my future ministry to the deaf. And yes, the students really did call my floor “Geritol Hall.” Those of us assigned to that floor were not over-the-hill by any stretch of the imagination, but we were the “old maids” who had more important things to do than search for a husband.

Funny, that’s often the time that the LORD brings one around. Like many happily married couples, my beloved and I weren’t the least bit interested in a relationship when ours first developed. We were both quite a bit older than the typical Bible college student, and not as easily distracted with thoughts of love and marriage –our focus was on God, and the pursuit of His call on our lives. Yes, ours was a “safe” friendship because neither of us wanted anything more.

We did not meet by chance; it was divine providence. I’ll leave that story for another time, but suffice it to say that my ineptitude for music appreciation class, coupled with the LORD’s (very temporary) sabotage of my car, placed my beloved and me on the same church bus at the same time. And there you have it, the start of a beautiful, purely platonic, friendship.

Eventually, I began to desire marriage again –something that I had completely suppressed after the bitter sting of hurt and betrayal. But who would I marry? At that time, my beloved had become my very best friend and confidante. Between classes and study sessions, we were nearly always together. And, we met daily for personal Bible study and prayer; yet it never even occurred to me that the love of my life –my soul mate- was right in front of my eyes.

Then something strange happened. One morning, while praying atop a mountain peak, the LORD spoke very clearly to my heart, and said it was time for me to marry. Later that evening, at the conclusion of a worship service, there was an invitation for those seeking a spouse to come to the altar for prayer. I quickly dove over the bodies already kneeling at the altar and said, “Here am I LORD –send him!”

I told the other ladies in “Geritol Hall” that I was getting married. Of course, they laughed and needled me when I confessed I didn’t have a clue as to who my soon-to-be spouse was. Apparently, you’re supposed to have a fiancé in order to receive an MRS degree. Call me crazy, but aren’t Bible College students supposed to have faith? I did.

Granted, I’m not always the brightest bulb on the block, so I remained clueless for awhile longer about the identity of Mr. Right. In fact, while eating lunch with him, I would occasionally look over his head and ask, “Where is he LORD?”

I thought the headaches I was having at the time were due to too many tedious hours of reading, but looking back, I suppose it is possible that the LORD had been –as my beloved often said- “beating me severely about the head and shoulders” until I figured out the obvious.

I’m not even sure when it happened, but one day the bulb turned on, a little brighter, and I realized that I was very much in love with my very best friend. And he realized that he was in love with me too. There would be one less old maid in “Geritol Hall” by the time the fall session started. Praise the LORD!

Words cannot even express how thankful I am for my wonderful husband. I know with utmost certainty that the LORD hand-picked him for me, and I for him; no two people are more perfectly suited for each other than we are. My beloved and I have been blissfully married for almost 22 years now, and we are still best friends. However, I’m not saying this to be boastful.

I simply want to remind you, dear reader, that God’s blessings are always before us, whether we see them or not. After all, blessings come in many different packages. At the end of an “uneventful” day, you might be tempted to think that nothing special happened. In reality, however, God may have prevented you from being in a fatal car accident, kept your child from harm, zapped that tumor you didn’t even know you had, and blessed you in a hundred other invisible ways.

Knowing this, we need never look around and ask, “Where are you, LORD?” We need only praise Him and say:

Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation (Psalm 68:19).

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Butt Dust

Feeling a bit weak? God understands: For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.(Psalm 103:14 NASV)

The Pastor’s message was solemn and serious, but my husband was (discreetly) laughing so much he could barely catch a breath. I was completely stunned. If you only knew how quiet and unexcitable Bryan normally is, you would have been surprised as well.

The pastor was puzzled, my husband was overcome, and I was dumbfounded at the unusual display. What could have possibly caused this astonishing laughter, which was certain to erupt in an audible guffaw at any moment? About the time Bryan composed himself enough to quietly whisper a few words of explanation the pastor said it again, this time with deliberate emphasis: “We- Are- But- Dust!”

Now tears of laughter were really streaming down his reddened face. “Butt dust,” he cackled softly. “We are Butt dust!” I’m not sure if anyone actually heard the comment or not, but Bryan’s struggle to maintain composure infected about three rows of people. The Pastor’s dramatic statement had been diminished by the center section, piano side.

As humorous as the incident was, it is a great reminder that we can at times hear something that wasn’t actually said. My stepfather wasn’t the wisest of men but he always repeated one thing that is well-worth remembering. He said, “Never believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.”

Look at the well-known ink blot above. Which do you see, two faces or a vase? It is possible that two people can observe the same particulars and see or hear something entirely different. That is why clear communication is crucial in our relationships with others.

Heaven knows we fallible humans can certainly misinterpret things easily enough. This is especially true when we only have a limited amount of information, or if that information comes through a secondary source. That is why I often find myself pleading with others to talk directly with me if they are concerned about any issue, real or perceived, that involves me, lest there be any misunderstandings.

Even then, I find that people sometimes listen to the words spoken but do not really hear what was said. It’s kind of like the ink blot; the words are specific, but the ‘interpretation’ of them can vary from person to person. Is it possible that we sometimes hear what we want to hear –good or bad?

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find myself asking others: “Please don’t hear what I am not saying!” Additionally, I try to show the same courtesy to others. As I said before, clear communication is crucial. Relationships are too important to allow simple misperceptions to strain them.

On a final note, I may have just permanently ruined your ability to act sane the next time you hear a humble servant of God tell you that “we are but dust,” but hopefully you will remember not to judge a matter too quickly.

Be blessed and be happy. After all, life is short and we are butt dust, but dust.

                   He who answers before listening–that is his folly and his shame.   (Proverbs 18:13 NIV).

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